Gen X: The “feral” Generation
Jolene and I are members of the absolute greatest generation, and we are not afraid to say it. Born between 1965 and 1980, we occupy a tiny 15-year age grouping that serves as the literal bridge between two completely different worlds. We are the unique generation that lived a fully analog childhood before helping build the modern digital landscape, and uncovering the truth about growing up Gen X reveals exactly how that upbringing informs how we think and live today.
Our memories are packed with Atari consoles, bulky IBM computers, and heavy phones that plugged straight into the kitchen wall. Because we had to learn how to manage that massive evolutionary leap, our generation became incredibly resourceful, reliable, private, and highly adaptable to change.
The cultural landscape playfully labeled us as "feral children," and we’re not ashamed to admit that the description fits. We grew up entirely unsupervised after school, running around without bike helmets and engineering dangerous ramps in the driveway. If you fell and scraped your knee, you shook it off and kept running because a broken bone or a signed plaster cast was a badge of honor, not a reason to call an ambulance and sue the school district.
"We are the bridge between the suck it up generation and the it's not fair generation."
Our cutthroat games of Dodgeball and Red Rover were practically rites of passage, mostly because our parents just told us to go play outside and stay out of their sight until the streetlights came on. We were the original latchkey kids, coming home to empty houses due to a skyrocketing divorce rate, both parents working and a total lack of modern childcare infrastructure. We learned very early on that no one was coming to save us, creating a cohort of kids who did not stop needing love, but simply stopped expecting it.
That independent upbringing taught us a vital skill: we learned how to sit quietly with our own thoughts without panicking. We experienced constructive boredom, which serves as the ultimate incubator for creativity and problem-solving. We didn't have phones jacking up our nervous systems, and we were incredibly good at waiting. We waited two weeks for Walgreens to develop our blurry camera film, we waited for letters in the mailbox, and we hovered over the radio with a blank cassette tape for hours just waiting to record our favorite song.
Because we were the very first generation targeted by non-stop commercial marketing from the moment we were born, we grew up with a flawless, built-in bullshit monitor. We know exactly what is real and what is fake.
That is why it is so heartbreaking to watch how our own generation has overcorrected as parents. Yes, it’s a generalization, but we see evidence of our generation smothering our kids with hyper-scheduling, private coaching, and non-stop surveillance via tracking apps. We are raising a generation of young people who view uncomfortable words as violence, who stay trapped inside their screens, and who expect an 18-year-old athlete to chase multi-million dollar sports contracts rather than focus on getting a college degree.
Now, we are stuck operating as the forgotten middle child of society. The Boomers refuse to retire, the Millennials are screaming that it is their turn, and Gen X is quietly stuck in the "sandwich generation". We’re simultaneously managing our own lives while picking up the pieces for aging, unprepared parents who never formulated a long-term plan.
But if any group has the practical, heads-down problem-solving skills to manage this stressful cultural shift, it is us. We are the plumbing, the electricity, and the quiet engine running the background of the world. We just have to remember to step away from the modernity of this screen-obsessed life, lay back in the grass, and reclaim that beautiful sense of real-world play that made us who we are.
RESOURCES MENTIONED:
https://youtu.be/GVxSREVTFTA?si=xS6MPooh7mEGDc1F
https://youtu.be/GVxSREVTFTA?si=xS6MPooh7mEGDc1F
https://youtu.be/7Ul5CHvgRRw?si=aFh_x9UbXY_rUvQt
The Coddling of the American Mind Book: https://www.thecoddling.com/
Brad Porteus Book “Roll With It”: https://book-shelfie.com/roll-with-it/
MAPS!!!!
Thomas Guide: https://thomasmaps.com/la-org-thomas-guide-2025-57th-edition-in-stock-now/
The Paper Fortune Teller!!!
https://youtu.be/tOcRq1fRypo?si=cD3TKSC_IrQJt658
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[00:00:00] nicole: She's a conservative and I'm liberal, and yet we've been friends for almost 40 years. Everyone says you shouldn't discuss politics, religion, or money. And we say, that's exactly what friends should be talking about. Join us as we tackle the conversations you're having in your head, but are too scared to say out loud.
[00:00:20] Welcome to, we've got to Talk. Welcome Jolene.
[00:00:24] Jolene: Thank you Nicole. Welcome, viewer and listener to, we've got to talk where we've got two different views and yet we have respectful conversation with each other, but
[00:00:34] nicole: Yes, we do.
[00:00:35] Jolene: nonpolitical Nicole, tell us what it's about.
[00:00:40] nicole: we are talking about Gen X and being a Gen Xer and what that means to us and how it informs possibly how we think and how we live. I happen to find, it was in my YouTube algorithm, one of these little films was sent about what it's like to be a Gen Xer, and I just very innocently sent it [00:01:00] to my friend Jolene.
[00:01:01] you were like, let's talk about this. And And we'll put all of the links in the show notes. And honestly, there are variations on a theme.
[00:01:08] And the thing that's funny is one of the traits about Gen Xers is that we don't trust, we believe in authenticity and we don't really trust. So I thought it was funny because I was like, wait, some of the voiceover is sort of similar, some of the. Songs are sort of similar. Some of the animation is sort of similar And they're all seemingly AI generated. that said, there were some really good takeaways that I thought we should talk about. And so Jolene, why don't you start with your three hot takes and then I will give mine and then we can.
[00:01:41] Talk about being in this generation.
[00:01:44] Jolene: you're right. I feel like they all kind of had the same theme. I think there was a lot of similarities. one of the things That was really apparent to me and of course, are the greatest generation. Um, because Gen Xers are from 1965 to 1980. So really [00:02:00] only a 15, like we're the smallest age gap, um, or, or age. years, uh, what's the word I'm looking
[00:02:07] nicole: Grouping.
[00:02:09] Jolene: yes, the, so we are the, we're the smallest grouping of all the named generations now. the, the greatest take is, is that we are the greatest generation because we really have. that gap between, I mean, we've lived in the analog and the digital. we've had to grow in such a, a time where there's been such a, a huge difference in technology and, um, working patterns.
[00:02:39] I mean, we've, we've kind of had an experience in all of it, and we've had to adapt and we're really good at that. went from not having video or we had Atari, you know, that was the, the extent of our video games to now. I mean, they're so realistic. We've had, you know, phones that hook on the wall to now we have [00:03:00] smartphones, you know, computers that were big and clunky and we're IBM computers and, and office.
[00:03:05] But now we have them. in our hands. So I feel like we've done a really good job of adapting. but one of the things that I really, my second hot take is that I hate to generalize because everybody's experience is so different. And, you know, did you have a stay-at-home mom or did you have a working mom?
[00:03:21] Were your parents married or were they divorced or were they, did you have siblings or not have siblings? And so all of those things I think, really are the things that shaped us is, um, not so much. we were born or, and, and, and when we were raised. But how, the third thing though is just again, to make a, a generalization that Gen Xers, are independent, we are resourceful, we are reliable, and we're private.
[00:03:48] nicole: All right. I like it. I like it. My first one. After watching these episodes about our Gen X Generation, I felt a deep compassion and pride on how [00:04:00] our generation navigates through the world. There was a quote quote, we are the bridge between the suck it up generation and the it's not fair. Generation number two.
[00:04:15] They would call us the, uh, latchkey kids. because a lot of us, and this is generalization, just like you said, a lot of us were unsupervised after school. There was a higher divorce rate, no childcare, not 'cause they didn't want it, but because it was all brand new, everything was shifting so much. something we learned early was no one was coming to save us. We were the kids who didn't stop needing love. We just stopped expecting it. Yeah, I know, I know. That one kind of gutted me.
[00:04:50] Okay.
[00:04:50] Jolene: God.
[00:04:51] nicole: Number three, we learned how to sit with our thoughts without panicking. We experienced constructive [00:05:00] boredom, which is the incubator to creativity and problem solving.
[00:05:04] Jolene: Amen.
[00:05:05] nicole: Which I, and so when I would watch these films, and there was one film that, again, we'll put in the show notes, and I don't know if you had a chance, I, I know I sent you a bunch, but this one really tickled me.
[00:05:20] It was about being feral, feral children, and
[00:05:23] Jolene: Yeah.
[00:05:24] nicole: was showing it was such. Heathens that we would like, you know, there were no bike helmets, you'd like create jumps and if you fell and you scraped your knee, you'd get up and you'd shake it off and, and go on. Like casts were really cool, like if a kid broke their.
[00:05:43] Jolene: Ah, I
[00:05:43] nicole: never did. I did too. And they would like, you know, everybody would sign your cast and your, and, and, and how, they talked about how, like, when a kid would get hurt at school, for instance, like the principal would come and say, get up [00:06:00] versus call an ambulance, Sue the school
[00:06:03] Jolene: yeah.
[00:06:04] nicole: parents go bananas. Like, I'm, I'm also not saying that.
[00:06:08] It was so amazing. I just, I found it, I was very tickled a lot of the time with the, especially with the feral one, because like our games were so cutthroat, like throwing dodge balls at each other and, and rover uh, red Rover where you'd run as fast as you can to break through people's arms. And, but there was this sort of like, Not innocence, but like your parents didn't, it's not that they didn't care, they just were like, go, go figure it out. Go play, go, go. I don't wanna see you. I don't wanna see you till the sun goes down. And I feel like our generation as parents, Have unfortunately Overcorrected,
[00:06:57] and I think it's, it's [00:07:00] really a detriment to our children now who don't know how to, um, I'm reading this book called, uh, and this is a shout out to Mark Foster.
[00:07:13] Uh, he, he wanted me to read this book called The Coddling of American Mind, and. It's, I'll put that in the show notes as well. It's really well written. It's also incredibly disturbing. It's, and it's talks about this generation of kids coming up who there's some positive things, like they are not drinking and doing drugs as much.
[00:07:37] They're not having sex as much, uh, as, as an at an early age, but on the other hand, because they didn't have that. That experience of there are no cell, there were no cell phones. When we were kids, there were, our parents didn't know where we were and they didn't really worry about it. Until it got dark and now, now parents [00:08:00] are like watching where their kids are on the find my iPhone.
[00:08:05] There's no privacy. and kids are saying that words are violent and they feel unsafe, that they'll go in into college campuses and if they feel any sort of sense of discomfort, they. Um, field justified. We talked about this Jolene, there, there were some examples in the book of these protests, uh, by kids that didn't.
[00:08:28] Uh, like a conservative person coming to their campus, they felt justified in not only protesting that their, their existence was there, they wanted them off the campus and they would hurt people, violently hurt people that didn't agree with them, and felt justified in that violence. And I thought, whoa, hold on a second.
[00:08:53] Jolene: Well, so, so to your point that we've gone so far that, um, that we're, you know, trying to, to [00:09:00] reel things back in, I do see, like you said, there's this push for people playing board games again
[00:09:07] nicole: Yes.
[00:09:07] Jolene: you know, going, kind of going back, I think this generation, and I say, you know, in. From 16 to 30 years old are seeing cool it was for our generation. I mean, to, to what we were growing up in, in the nineties, in the eighties and nineties, that they're, that they're reverting back, you know, they're going to church, they're, um, they're playing outside games. They're, you know, they're doing things that. We did as kids because they're trying to get back to that sense of, of, um, reality. I guess I,
[00:09:42] nicole: Well, it, it, I think part of it, yeah, I think part of it's community and part of it, you know, these things, these cell phone things, they jack up our nervous system. I had such a fondness. I mean, it was, I just was so tickled [00:10:00] by some of these films about just reminding me of our sense of play and, um, creativity and, and being able to just like, lay in the grass and look at the sky That is something that I hope I have to remind myself to do. Like I knew that feeling and I wanna know that feeling again.
[00:10:28] And I, and that sort of feeling for every age is crucial to our, our wellbeing, you know?
[00:10:38] Jolene: about this last night with a group of friends that we had dinner with and And we said, we were talking about what do you listen to when you're in the car, when you're traveling? And everybody was going, you know, either music or podcast or dah, dah, dah. And our friend Ed said, he goes, nothing. I love getting in the car and not having anything on, like, just listening. [00:11:00] I go, arch, okay, are you a spiritual person? Like are you, are you talking to God? Are you listening to God? Are you? And he was like. Like maybe sometimes. I mean, just the fact that you're allowing yourself, because we're just so inundated with so many things and so many choices, you know, that that's something else we saw in these reels as well was, you know, we had three channels. And so you didn't get to say, oh, I'm gonna stream this show now because this is what fits into my schedule right now. No. If
[00:11:30] nicole: Yes,
[00:11:31] Jolene: Charlie's Angels, it was Wednesday night at eight o'clock and that was your only option to watch
[00:11:34] nicole: that's right. That's right.
[00:11:36] Jolene: un, unless you saw the reruns in the summer, did
[00:11:39] nicole: Yes.
[00:11:39] Jolene: one cliff that said that?
[00:11:41] And it was like, I miss that episode. I'm gonna have to wait until the summer now to the rerun to actually see that. I
[00:11:47] nicole: Yeah. And well that whole concept and, and our generation is really good at waiting, not be right, and it's not about waiting like we don't care or we are, [00:12:00] you know, are not motivated. It's just like we know that sometimes you have to wait. It just is how it is.
[00:12:06] Jolene: example was like you would take a picture and then you'd have to wait
[00:12:10] nicole: Oh, I loved that.
[00:12:11] Jolene: Until all of the film was used in your
[00:12:13] nicole: Yes.
[00:12:13] Jolene: go take the film into Walgreens to have it developed.
[00:12:17] nicole: Mm-hmm.
[00:12:17] Jolene: then, I mean, and it would be two weeks later and if
[00:12:19] nicole: Yes.
[00:12:20] Jolene: if, if, if it was blurry, too bad. I mean,
[00:12:22] nicole: Oh, well
[00:12:23] Jolene: moment is
[00:12:24] nicole: that was what it is. That's right. And And I also remember, yeah, you waited for mail and it was so exciting to go to the mailbox
[00:12:32] Jolene: Right. Right.
[00:12:33] nicole: like.
[00:12:33] Jolene: waited. The other one that I love too was you waited for your, be the, your favorite song to come on the
[00:12:38] nicole: That's what I was gonna say. That's what I was gonna say.
[00:12:40] Jolene: Yeah.
[00:12:41] nicole: Or you would, would, or you put with the, the radio and then you'd put with the tape deck to make sure that you could record that song on the radio and then you'd make mixed tapes. And I just was like flashback to, I mean, music was. Everything to me.
[00:12:56] When I was a kid, um, I loved to sing and [00:13:00] I had a my own little record player and tape deck, and I would just spend hours listening to music and looking at the lyrics on the, on the, whether it was the album cover or in the tape cassette and, and dream. You'd share music with friends. And sometimes I'll, you know, I have such a memory of Whitney spending the night and, and she's saying like, we're in my bedroom.
[00:13:28] And she's like, what kind of music do you like? And I was like, I like, and I was, um, oh gosh, on the radio, Donna Summer and I put Donna summer on and we're like dancing around the room and it was, That was your dream time, right? And, and you or We do. My poor brother. We, when I'd have slumber parties with multiple friends, we would do, um, disco dance, uh, competition.
[00:13:54] And my brother had to be the judge.
[00:13:58] Jolene: I am sure Little Tyler loved
[00:13:59] nicole: [00:14:00] Tyler. Oh, he loved it. He loved it. He really didn't, but, you know, he would do it 'cause he was my little brother. Um, and that's what you do. And I was also just also struck, like I said at the beginning of this episode, about how Gen X is, and again, this is a, this is a, um, a generalization, but we have a incredibly strong bullshit monitor.
[00:14:24] We were the first generation that was, like a target of advertising. We were sold advertising from like basically. The moment we were born, we were inundated with it. And so we knew what was real and what wasn't real. And I think that it is, that has served our generation. And so that also thought, I thought was very funny as I'm trying to delve in who's, who's making these videos that I'm like, okay, could someone, could one of it be human?
[00:14:57] Just like really, like, I'm really [00:15:00] liking what you're serving here, but I want, I want. More authenticity because I,
[00:15:05] Jolene: and have they done it for each generation have, have they, do they have one then for Generation Z? Why you guys are the greatest generation
[00:15:13] nicole: there, there, there's that, and, and,
[00:15:15] Jolene: I
[00:15:16] nicole: and every generation thinks that they've been slighted and every generation, but they do call us like the forgotten middle child because the boomers, as we've talked about within politics, they will not retire. And then you've got the, the millennials coming up and saying, you know, it's our turn and, and where are we?
[00:15:40] But we have, you know, one thing I felt encouraged by was that we are a generation that not only are the. Founders, uh, the VPs, we run shit. We're also the fixers. We're the plumbers, [00:16:00] we're the electricians. We are the people that quietly get shit done
[00:16:05] Jolene: we weren't afraid to make mistakes because they weren't recorded.
[00:16:09] nicole: right.
[00:16:10] Jolene: you made a mistake then. No one, I mean, just the people in that little circle knew about it unless you wrote. I mean, our biggest thing, and I know we've talked about this before, is writing notes.
[00:16:20] And so if you had it in writing that you said, I'm mad at Jill right now, then Shannon could go
[00:16:27] nicole: Show
[00:16:28] Jolene: to Jill,
[00:16:28] nicole: that
[00:16:28] Jolene: you're like, eh, now I'm in a trouble. So I
[00:16:31] nicole: detail. Mm-hmm.
[00:16:33] Jolene: unless you wrote it in a note. And you could tear it up then. I mean, there was no, there were no videotapes and all of that of mistakes at which right now, I mean, my gosh, we're all afraid to do anything because we have zero privacy.
[00:16:48] nicole: Right. I mean, and even with that, Jolene, even with the passing a note and getting in trouble per se, uh, there were. In these films talked about that we are the [00:17:00] generation that is not afraid of face-to-face, uncomfortable conversations. we had to figure out how to communicate with each other when things didn't go well.
[00:17:15] Um, you know, and we, and we were the high consequence generation. If we got in trouble as kids, you knew it. There was no negotiating.
[00:17:26] Jolene: at school, you were gonna get in trouble at home.
[00:17:28] nicole: That's right. It just, it was how it was. It was just, and in some ways I think we are really built for this world, um, because I feel like I. As we move towards this deep need, I think of wanting authenticity.
[00:17:51] 'cause we're also, no matter what generation you are, we're really aware of how, um.
[00:17:57] I guess with AI and everything, we're all [00:18:00] starting to wonder what's real and what isn't. And I think that we are craving, and maybe this is me, maybe I'm craving authenticity, uh, but it seems like younger people are as well. Like you said, some are going back to. Uh, faith in order to feel some connection.
[00:18:16] Some are, you know, going, there's like vinyl bars are really big in the cities now, going to listen to records. Um, there's like art cafes now where you can, and I see them with like kids in their twenties and they've put their phones away and they're making art in a space and drinking coffee and being together.
[00:18:38] 'cause it's just so foreign to them to, they know that. That putting your head in a screen isn't really the key to a full happy life.
[00:18:52] Jolene: You know, I also wonder how much, and this is just being, our three girls, I wonder how much [00:19:00] of, that need to. To be the very best at what you do. So I mean, now you've got to choose, you know, which sport is it that you are really good at, and now we're gonna get you into private lessons, and you're gonna be on a club team, and you're gonna be on a travel team in the summer and you're gonna, you know, like instead of just going out and playing and, and being a part of everything, like now they're. You're, you're being asked to hone in on what it is that you're really good at. Is it, is it theater? Great. Let's get you into, you know, all of the different, um, things beyond, you know, the school program, that, that will make you really good at your craft or your art. Where we were going to work after school.
[00:19:42] Right? I mean,
[00:19:43] nicole: Yes,
[00:19:43] Jolene: for
[00:19:44] nicole: yes,
[00:19:44] Jolene: like I would go, I'd go to school, I'd go to practice, and then I'd go to work
[00:19:49] nicole: yes.
[00:19:50] Jolene: I, I don't know that, I mean, kids didn't really have a job other than babysitting. I think Kelly worked as a waitress in a Mexican restaurant, her, [00:20:00] her senior year. But I mean, I, I started mowing yards with my grandpa at 12.
[00:20:05] You
[00:20:05] nicole: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:20:06] Jolene: I feel like
[00:20:07] nicole: People had paper route, they, yeah, absolutely. Jolene.
[00:20:11] Jolene: because they are, you know, they're going to volleyball camp and baseball camp and, you know, doing all the. I think,
[00:20:18] nicole: Yeah.
[00:20:19] Jolene: missing out on that?
[00:20:20] nicole: I, I mean, I would say yes or there could be a happy medium, right? And there's never seems to be a happy medium. It's like, you know, when we were coming up, you would play all the sports or you wouldn't play the sports, whatever, whatever you did, but you had different choices. And now. I don't know if it's also a focus in getting into college that college has become so competitive that people feel that they have to pick a sport and do it all year round, which they have studies.
[00:20:48] It's not healthy for young bodies to do the same movement all year. Like it's just not healthy, and yet we're pushing our kids. And then quite frankly, you're not [00:21:00] even just like, what are you doing this summer? Nothing. That is not, that is not an option. Like a kid is supposed to be scheduled from morning to night, and that doesn't also help that person.
[00:21:15] Jolene: Creativity. Yeah.
[00:21:18] nicole: Absolutely.
[00:21:19] Jolene: going back to the sports thing, I mean, then you just sent me the thing that, um, that Nick Saban, when he went to the president, to the
[00:21:26] nicole: Oh yes.
[00:21:27] Jolene: for this Presidential Council on athletics, and the, the problem, and this is a whole nother topic, but with NIL deals and um, the transfer portal and all that, now that emphasis on sports, the, the parents are now going, holy cow, my kid can make. Millions. As an 18-year-old now, I absolutely want to put him in or her into specific things and make them the very best that they can be because now they can be a millionaire by the time they're 20 and take care of us. So I, I mean, we're incentivizing, and that was the whole thing that [00:22:00] Nick Saban said, you know what?
[00:22:01] Whatever happened to college athletics and the emphasis on getting a college degree,
[00:22:06] nicole: Exactly.
[00:22:07] Jolene: making professional athletes.
[00:22:09] nicole: Yes. Yes.
[00:22:12] Jolene: So that there we're talking outta both sides of our mouth there, you know, for
[00:22:17] nicole: I mean, I mean, I don't know. I, I would actually love to have a, to talk about that conversation 'cause I think it's a detriment to these kids. because everything, it seems, again, it's a generalization that we've gotten. So we're so obsessed with money and we're so obsessed with the look of it, and we're so obsessed with
[00:22:37] what everyone else thinks of us, and are we getting the likes and are we getting the clicks? And
[00:22:43] Jolene: Yeah. That, that is a whole thing that we could
[00:22:46] nicole: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:22:48] Jolene: here's the other thing that I thought is interesting about, um. X is that we were really the first ones to be part of the talk radio generation and the cable [00:23:00] news, you know, the 24 hour news
[00:23:01] nicole: Mm-hmm.
[00:23:02] Jolene: I
[00:23:02] nicole: Mm-hmm.
[00:23:03] Jolene: from up, we had Walter Cronkite.
[00:23:05] nicole: Mm-hmm.
[00:23:06] Jolene: was our source of news
[00:23:08] nicole: And Dan rather.
[00:23:10] Jolene: And Dan Rather, right? I mean,
[00:23:12] nicole: There was one more there. Tom Broka. Yeah, there you go.
[00:23:16] Jolene: news was, you got 30 minutes of news and then of course you had a newspapers and, and all that. But I, I, I mean, I was in high school, but I started listening, listening to Rush Limbaugh,
[00:23:28] nicole: You did,
[00:23:29] Jolene: know won't surprise anybody.
[00:23:30] Yeah. no, that's not true. I was not in high
[00:23:32] nicole: you, you must've been in college. You must've been in college. Yeah. Yeah. I.
[00:23:37] Jolene: I remember finding him on the radio again, listening, trying to find something to listen to on my way back and forth from college to home. And my brother-in-law said, you should listen to Rush Limbaugh.
[00:23:50] And I'm like, uh, I don't know what that is. And started listening and remember. Then after graduating CO from college and driving around and as a sales job, I had Iowa, Nebraska as a [00:24:00] territory that's a lot of windshield time to be listening to the radio. And so I got, got that three hours at the Rush Limbaugh show
[00:24:07] nicole: I mean, and, and, and that's a really interesting point Jolene, because we've talked about this in other podcasts. There was a law that in network news, if you. Each, each network would, if they were gonna do a story on Rush Limbaugh for example, they would do three minutes for Rush Limbaugh, and then you had to give three minutes to the opposing side.
[00:24:30] So you were always constantly getting a fairly balanced take on all three channels. And all of a sudden, you know, when, I guess we're getting into the nineties here, that we, there was cable news and these talk radio shows where it was one voice not being fact-checked, just talking. and you know, there's something really why I, I love audio and I love radio, is a very intimate experience that you're in your car and this person's talking [00:25:00] to you like the tone of their voice, how they make you feel, how safe you might feel talking to them, or how scared they might make you feel.
[00:25:10] It's a very intimate medium to quite frankly manipulate you. And I don't mean just rush limbo. I like you could do Rachel Maddow, like she's pretty left. Like those people become like part of your fabric and then they, they mold how you think. And again, kind of why we're here, because of all of those sort of unchartered.
[00:25:39] Excess,
[00:25:40] Jolene: let's go back to the thing that you said about, um, what was your second or one
[00:25:46] nicole: my second one.
[00:25:46] Jolene: about love.
[00:25:48] nicole: Oh, I know that, that one, that one was in terms of, they mentioned it about, and I'm guessing you might not have had this experience, Jolene, but [00:26:00] the, the latchkey kid. Um.
[00:26:03] Jolene: I did my mom. 'cause my mom worked
[00:26:06] nicole: She did
[00:26:07] Jolene: yeah. And then
[00:26:07] nicole: so.
[00:26:08] Jolene: to college. So there were
[00:26:09] nicole: Oh, right.
[00:26:10] Jolene: she wasn't home. Yeah.
[00:26:11] nicole: Yeah. So my mom and dad divorced when I was 10.
[00:26:15] My brother was seven and a half. And we, I mean, it's seems crazy now, but we'd ride our bicycles. I'm not kidding. Miles to school. Miles back, and then we just go into the house like it was to the key, the the, the house wasn't locked and you'd make yourself a snack and you'd maybe do the, your homework, watch TV and wait for your prayers to come home.
[00:26:37] Like it just, that's how it was. And so what, what their point was the idea that we could go into our home unsupervised and Number one, we learned how to believe that. We didn't expect that people were gonna save us like we were home. And hopefully our parents would come home. [00:27:00] You didn't really think about it.
[00:27:01] I mean, I'm sure there are kids that did, which is a whole other conversation, but, but we were like, yeah, mom or dad's gonna come home, whatever, whatever. But there was, but, but they correlated it in one of the films, was that. We weren't children who stopped needing love, but we stopped expecting it.
[00:27:21] I think that that's actually a problem with the parenting of the gen, the Gen X parenting with these kids, is that and I'm, this is a huge generalization, I don't know if, if once. We became parents. And of course I didn't have, this is a question for you, Jolene. 'cause like I didn't have a baby to raise. I got Jacks at 10 and he was already kind of formed and so I could only do what I could do.
[00:27:48] But, but that said that, did parents feel like. You know what? My mom and dad, they just left me after school. I'm gonna be [00:28:00] involved and I'm not just gonna be involved. I'm gonna be the most involved and smother the shit out of my kid. I don't think they think that, but that, that we have a tendency as human beings to swing to the extreme.
[00:28:14] Jolene: Yeah.
[00:28:15] nicole: sort of, that's, did you, I mean, you had a, I'm sure a very different, tell me about your experience being a parent.
[00:28:23] Jolene: I do remember like coming home and, and if my mom wasn't home, then I, I would, I would be so disappointed. Like if I got home and there was a note on the kitchen counter, I'll be home by five. I'm doing this. Um, and here's your to-do list. be so mad because all I wanna do is come home and talk to my mom and have her make me a snack and tell her
[00:28:44] nicole: Right.
[00:28:45] Jolene: and blah, blah, blah. I knew that or not, there was this sense of disappointment when she
[00:28:49] nicole: Sure.
[00:28:50] Jolene: and, and so then I'm like, okay, I'm gonna watch my tv. I had all my TV shows that I wanted to watch, and then if, if I knew she was gonna be home at five. [00:29:00] I could look at that to-do list and go, okay, empty the waste baskets, um, empty the dishwasher, fold the clothes in the dryer.
[00:29:07] I mean, you know, the three things that I'm like, oh my gosh, I've got 12 minutes to get all these things done. And then you would, you know, you would hurry and get 'em all done and be like, no, I did the to-do list first mom, and then I had all these things. So that was one thing. But so then as a mom, I remember my kids being the same way if I was not home, when they got home, they were so. Mad at me like the, and then they would call, you know, so then we had. We had a landline phone, but I had a cell phone and they could call me and be like, um, okay, where are you? What, because my kids didn't have cell phones at that point. And so the, and so then they would call me and say, you know, where are you?
[00:29:43] And I'm like, ah, I got stuck in Kansas City. I'm on my way home and, you know, blah, blah, blah. But, but make sure you. Empty the waste baskets, get the, uh, you know, get the dishwasher emptied and make sure your clo put your clothes away. So it, it is, it's, but it's that, [00:30:00] it's that disappointing. It's that, that
[00:30:02] nicole: Yes.
[00:30:03] Jolene: from your, your mom when you got home or your dad, you know that someone was home and when they weren't home, you're like, Ugh.
[00:30:10] nicole: Well, it was interest. It's interesting to me, Joe, 'cause when you talk started talking about it, I was like, oh, Janice was outta the house like you were by yourself. Like me and my brother were together, whether we, I mean, I was the older sibling, so it's different. By the time I was gone, he was a teenager.
[00:30:28] So it's a little bit different. But as kids, like I was home and he was home.
[00:30:35] Jolene: Well, I was just gonna say, and I'm sure that changes the whole dynamic too.
[00:30:38] nicole: Yeah.
[00:30:39] Jolene: as the oldest of five, and they were all, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. That like, okay, so then you had, you know, the only people you could play with were your siblings. And so, but you probably all had to do, you know, chores together.
[00:30:50] You had, I mean, so there was this, um, it was an opportunity for PE to learn how to work together and
[00:30:56] nicole: Yeah.
[00:30:57] Jolene: in a group that maybe. Nobody liked each [00:31:00] other, but they had to work together. And I mean, you know, there's just, again, there was so much to be learned from,
[00:31:07] nicole: I mean, that said, I, I think about like, my brother did love tv, like loved tv, and you could equate that to being on the computer or being on the phone. Like it was like the, at the time there was a point where my parents were like, I, I think I'm pretty sure. Well, at one point we had an au pair come, 'cause my mom was going back to work to help and, and of course they didn't do it, but they're like, Hey Ann, get my kid to stop watching tv.
[00:31:40] Jolene: Oh, okay.
[00:31:44] nicole: But it was like, you know, it's not like we were so innocent. Like we would try to get away with whatever we could get away with. Right. You know, I just think there's such a. I see it here in Utah [00:32:00] with some of the kids where on our street, like they're actually having a real childhood and it's super sweet
[00:32:08] Jolene: Oh
[00:32:08] nicole: where they don't have phones.
[00:32:10] And these are littler kids, but they're running around on the street and playing. And I think, God, we were so lucky. I mean, there's a lot of shit that we weren't lucky about.
[00:32:23] Jolene: yeah.
[00:32:23] nicole: But that part, I just feel so grateful that, and they talk about it in these films as well. Like if the electricity goes off, we don't go into panic mode.
[00:32:35] We're like, okay, how do we fix it? Like we're just, it's how our brains we're trained. And it's not like these kids are so, are such idiots or something. They're just, their brains are, they've always had access to the answer versus like. I don't know. Let's try to figure it, figure it out. Let's, let's take apart this transistor radio to see how it works.
[00:32:58] I mean, obviously there's people in [00:33:00] the world that are fascinated by that and, and that are young and that they do it, but not a lot. There's an impatience of even when. You're in conversation with your friends or something and you're like, what's that person's name? I really try sometimes to be like, do not look it up.
[00:33:18] Let your brain be and figure it out. Just take a walk or, and then it's like, boom. Then like 10 minutes later it's there, but it's this. I try sometimes to not be so impatient and not let the ma modernity of this world. Get me lazy, do you ever worry about the girls with the technology or are they, do they have a handle on it or are they aware when they're, uh, sucked in or,
[00:33:51] Jolene: um, I think they're learning that.
[00:33:54] nicole: yeah.
[00:33:54] Jolene: 24, 26 and 29 year olds, I mean, they are, [00:34:00] um. No, I, I mean, I can see, you know, anxiety in them that because of trying to who, you know, and, and especially when they were in high school, trying to be who society said they should be, and
[00:34:15] nicole: Yes.
[00:34:16] Jolene: doing the things and looking a certain way and I mean, yeah, all of that. I think we all, but I mean, even as adult, I mean, I think that's, that was all of us
[00:34:25] nicole: Yes.
[00:34:26] Jolene: this living, in this society,
[00:34:28] nicole: Yeah,
[00:34:28] Jolene: you
[00:34:29] nicole: it's just even more pronounced I think with the phones. 'cause it doesn't stop. Like when we were kids, it was looking at magazines, which was incredibly pervasive. It's not like we didn't have our body issues from moment one. Um, but we didn't have, we weren't carrying it around in our pocket. When we were bored, like that whole idea of being bored, Hey mom, I'm bored. And, and then the fear of God that mom or dad would be like, you're bored here. Do this list that we would just like run out of the house and like figure out something [00:35:00] different. But that, that now that you would then possibly scroll and see some other like really upsetting image about.
[00:35:10] Compare and despair or whatever it might be. That and girls seem to be way more affected it seems, from the research that I've. You don't think so?
[00:35:21] Jolene: I feel like, I feel like girls talk about it more.
[00:35:25] nicole: Maybe that's it.
[00:35:26] Jolene: but I think that because I, I don't think the boys talk about it, but I think
[00:35:31] nicole: Yeah.
[00:35:31] Jolene: are sucked in just as much.
[00:35:34] nicole: I thought the sandwich generation really hit home. I. For me, I don't know if it hit home for you. having parents that are living longer than ever and I mean, listen, there are a lot of kids that don't care about their parents, unfortunately. I mean, my dad tells me that a lot where he lives in his [00:36:00] senior living community, that he'll see that there are people there that are never visited and never cared for and that, you know, whether it be there in that community or you know, he was recently in the hospital and doctors will say.
[00:36:16] You know, you are so lucky, Bob, that your kids care. I love my dad, but it's incredibly stressful. Incredibly stressful to try to manage, and I don't have a kid at home. But, but you know, there was that energy with Jax, but just to manage an aging parent and make sure, 'cause there's only so much you can do like you people have, right.
[00:36:47] It's, and, and I thinks are the generation that is in that middle, where if we have relationships with our parents and a lot of parents, uh, and, 'cause we have this with my mother as well, like. [00:37:00] They don't have a plan and then they fall apart. And then it's on the generation X to pick up the pieces, which is what happened with both of both of my parents and, and my stepmom for that matter.
[00:37:12] And that's, it's a, it's a lot. It's a lot. And I think one thing that I appreciated was. as generation X because we are problem solvers, because we're creative, because we just put our heads down and do it, that we have the particular skills to be able to do it,
[00:37:32] where other, other generations might not.
[00:37:36] you obviously, I mean, your dad passed away and your, and Sally's totally able, so thankfully you haven't been in that position, but it's just really, you know, well, with any, with anyone, when anyone you, you love is struggling, it's hard and it's, and you know, and I've had other friends that, and I don't know what it is about.
[00:37:57] My parents' generation that [00:38:00] there is almost this innocence of like, I'm never gonna die or nothing's gonna happen to me, and therefore we don't deal with anything.
[00:38:10] Jolene: Yeah.
[00:38:11] nicole: it'll just work itself out. No, it won't work itself out. Your generation X kids are gonna figure it out. Like that's that, right? even Josh's parents who we thought had there.
[00:38:22] Their stuff together. And I felt so relieved because I was overwhelmed by so much of the stuff with my family not having their stuff together. But then when stuff hit the fan, where Josh's mom got sick unexpectedly, and so all of a sudden Josh's dad's Alzheimer's, he couldn't be alone. All of a sudden, you know, Josh and Claudia, very capable Gen Xers had to jump in and figure it out, that's like, I am so grateful that we have those skills, but holy moly, is it, is it stressful?
[00:38:56] Jolene: yeah, yeah,
[00:38:58] nicole: do you have any other thoughts [00:39:00] about, about being a Gen Xer? Oh, I wanna say something.
[00:39:05] Jolene: Yes.
[00:39:05] nicole: I'm gonna shout out to our friend Brad.
[00:39:08] Jolene: Oh my gosh. Every time
[00:39:11] nicole: Brad Portus,
[00:39:12] Jolene: it.
[00:39:13] nicole: I got the book, Brad. This is a memoir about his, uh, first real job in the early nineties as a Gen Xer, and he's a fantastic writer. I love the book, Brad. I love it. I love it. I love it. So I'm gonna put it in the show notes so you all can read about it, whether you're a Gen Xer or not. He's a big sports person, so he's a beautiful writer.
[00:39:36] Read the book. It was, it's, I, I'm thrilled. I'm thrilled that I like it because he's our friend and it's, and it, and it would be bad if I didn't, but Yeah. So, um, Tia, do you have any other thoughts about this generation or how we move forward or, or what do we do?
[00:39:56] Jolene: I have a really good, would you rather
[00:40:03] nicole: All right. Give it to me. I'm ready.
[00:40:08] Jolene: Nicole?
[00:40:09] nicole: Yes.
[00:40:10] Jolene: Would you rather go back to paper maps forever? No GPS
[00:40:17] nicole: Yep.
[00:40:19] Jolene: Only watch TV when it airs live. No streaming. Like you get to watch the show when it's on.
[00:40:33] nicole: I love this question.
[00:40:35] Jolene: Isn't that a good one?
[00:40:37] nicole: Honestly, I wanna do both.
[00:40:40] Jolene: I love maps.
[00:40:41] nicole: I love maps. I love maps.
[00:40:44] Jolene: is it? Is that okay?
[00:40:46] nicole: There's something like in Incredi, I don't know, my dad loved maps, and so I was around maps a lot as a child. He had globes and maps, and we would look at. Where everything was in the world, and it just seemed [00:41:00] this, like this and that maps are like the key, it's like the unlocking of the key, the puzzle to
[00:41:06] Jolene: Yep.
[00:41:06] nicole: if you, if you can get somewhere with this piece of paper, which also reminded me of like as an actor, and I'm forgetting the name of it.
[00:41:16] Shoot. there in Los Angeles they had this huge book. I mean, it was like.
[00:41:23] Jolene: Oh, of maps?
[00:41:24] nicole: It was a huge book of, for LA actors to be able to run around and get everywhere because LA is such a beast. And I remember it and they, my, every friend of mine had this huge book that to navigate Los Angeles. And I was like, oh, thank God.
[00:41:41] I, I was like, thank God I'm a New York actor. 'cause I just gotta jump on the subway. Um, what the, I'm gonna, sorry Brianna, I'm gonna look it up. Um, let's see.
[00:41:50] Jolene: I had one for Houston
[00:41:52] nicole: Oh, you did?
[00:41:53] Jolene: yes. And so you had to like, okay, you're in the northwest part, and so you would have to like look at [00:42:00] the big map and then it would say, if you wanna know this part, you're gonna have to go to page 62 to get
[00:42:04] nicole: It was called the Thomas Guide. Did you have a Thomas guide?
[00:42:08] Jolene: Okay. No.
[00:42:09] nicole: It was called, it was the definitive Los Angeles city map book from the 1990s. It was a spiral 500 page paper atlas with essential navigation to deal with Los Angeles. And every actor friend of mine, I would go visit them and they'd be like, woo.
[00:42:26] Like, and how am I gonna get to that particular, so you had one for Houston you said?
[00:42:33] Jolene: one for Houston, and I would keep it in my backseat. So then I would have to pull it out and I'd go, okay, if I'm gonna go from this hospital to this hospital, how do I get there? And I mean, and you, it was, I loved it.
[00:42:44] nicole: In your brain, like it's so good. Yes.
[00:42:47] Jolene: I.
[00:42:48] nicole: Yes.
[00:42:49] Jolene: if we should go back to maps and you just had a perspective and, and I still will do that now.
[00:42:54] Like, okay, I'm driving south, like I know directions. I don't think our are [00:43:00] kids. I don't know that they know north, south, east and west.
[00:43:02] nicole: Yeah.
[00:43:03] Jolene: there's people our age who. Probably don't either, but
[00:43:05] nicole: Right?
[00:43:06] Jolene: think that you don't have that perspective because like you literally have to see yourself on a map driving this way and go, okay, well if I'm gonna go east, that means I'm gonna take a right.
[00:43:14] And so, I mean, you know, I mean, you
[00:43:16] nicole: Absolutely.
[00:43:17] Jolene: those things
[00:43:18] nicole: Absolutely. And then you really have a sense of place, right? You know where you are.
[00:43:25] Jolene: Yeah. Yep.
[00:43:26] nicole: there are times when, when we first, um, had our house in Utah where I would use the navigation. 'cause I was like, I have no idea where I am or what I'm doing. And now I will purposely not and be like, trust yourself.
[00:43:44] You know how to get there. And I, and it's helpful. And if I got lost, who cares? Remember when we got lost? You'd get lost. You just get lost and then you figure out, and then you'd actually talk to a person,[00:44:00]
[00:44:01] Jolene: You might stop and ask somebody,
[00:44:04] nicole: right?
[00:44:04] Jolene: ha,
[00:44:05] nicole: So your question to me is go to maps or watch live tv.
[00:44:11] Jolene: or watch tv. Only when it airs live.
[00:44:14] nicole: I mean, listen
[00:44:15] Jolene: I guess. It doesn't have to be live, but.
[00:44:18] nicole: that, I love that idea too. Because you're not as cap, well, you're a little bit more captive. You have to make a concerted effort. I want to watch this TV show at this time.
[00:44:30] Jolene: At seven o'clock. Yeah.
[00:44:33] nicole: I'm gonna go with the maps. We've been so excited about the maps. I'm gonna go with the maps. I'm gonna go with the maps. I love a map.
[00:44:40] Jolene: Yeah. I'm with you.
[00:44:42] nicole: We should teach the kids about maps.
[00:44:45] Jolene: We should,
[00:44:46] nicole: Teach the kids about the maps. Let's make 'em cool again. Maps, records, of course. Vinyl. Oh, you know what? We could also make cool again, remember [00:45:00] those?
[00:45:00] Um, no, no, no. The fortune teller things you would make, like they were almost like Armand Gar.
[00:45:08] Jolene: Yeah. Love those.
[00:45:10] nicole: Kids, do you know what? Do you know what? Oh, okay. That makes me feel better.
[00:45:14] Jolene: And
[00:45:14] nicole: Maybe I'll find something and I'll put it in the show notes. If you don't know what we're talking about, it's good stuff. Tells your future,
[00:45:21] Jolene: mm-hmm.
[00:45:21] nicole: you good goal.
[00:45:22] Jolene: Yeah.
[00:45:23] nicole: Okay. Would you rather have lived through your own life and struggles or. Would you prefer to have grown up in today's world as a 20-year-old dealing with the challenges of modern life?
[00:45:41] Jolene: Oh heck no. I just, I, yeah, no, I wanna
[00:45:44] nicole: I know I realized after this conversation that this is a no brainer for you,
[00:45:50] Jolene: the
[00:45:50] nicole: right? That's right. The greatest generation, even though there is a generation called the greatest generation,
[00:45:57] Jolene: generation.
[00:45:58] nicole: they're all dead.[00:46:00]
[00:46:00] Jolene: Well, I think most
[00:46:01] nicole: I think they're dead. I think they're pretty dead. Dead dead. I'm pretty sure Josh and I will like look at old movies and then go and, we'll, we'll just be watching the old movie and then go dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead.
[00:46:15] Jolene: Yeah. Yep.
[00:46:16] nicole: stupid, but yeah. Yeah. I think they're pretty much dead.
[00:46:20] Jolene: Yeah.
[00:46:21] nicole: think so.
[00:46:22] Jolene: yeah, I,
[00:46:23] nicole: Getting close, getting close.
[00:46:24] Jolene: but I do feel like we were,
[00:46:27] nicole: Why do they think they were the, why did they think that? What's so great about their generation? You mean all the wars?
[00:46:32] Jolene: World War ii. Yeah.
[00:46:34] nicole: All those wars. Ay, ayy. That's another conversation. Listen, listener and viewer.
[00:46:42] Thank you for doing this with us. And if you're a Gen Xer, please write in the YouTube comments or DM us on Instagram. Do us a favor and write a memory that you have about being a Gen Xer. And if you're not a Gen Xer, uh, [00:47:00] let us know what's appealing about Gen X that you might like to adopt in your life now.
[00:47:06] And listen, we're not haters. You can be a Gen Z or a millennial. Tell us what you like about your generation because we all have struggles and we all have happies and, and, uh, we just, I thought Jolene, it was fun to explore this topic with you today.
[00:47:21] Jolene: This was good. This
[00:47:22] nicole: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:47:23] Jolene: we can all agree on
[00:47:25] nicole: I,
[00:47:25] Jolene: not.
[00:47:27] nicole: 'cause that's what we do and we've got to talk.
[00:47:29] Thank you.
[00:47:30] Jolene: subscribe and follow us. Please leave us comments that helps our algorithms. We love having you. We love doing this with you.
[00:47:38] nicole: Yes, we do.
[00:47:38] Jolene: um, please share this with a friend if you think somebody else would enjoy this at well as well.
[00:47:43] It will help us
[00:47:44] nicole: Yes. Thank you so much. Thank you, Jolene. I appreciate you.
[00:47:49] Jolene: Thanks everybody.
[00:47:50] nicole: right. Bye. Bye.
[00:47:52]
