Assumption vs Reality: How Democrats and Republicans Misunderstand Each Other
Ever catch yourself making snap judgments about someone based on their political views? That MAGA hat automatically equals racist? That Biden sticker means socialist? We're all guilty of it, and it's destroying our ability to have real conversations. Today's episode exposes the shocking truth about how wrong we are about each other - and why our assumptions are keeping us trapped in our own echo chambers.
The Numbers Don't Lie
Here's a reality check that might sting: After the 2018 midterms, researchers discovered that both Democrats and Republicans massively misjudged what the other side actually believes. We're not talking small gaps - we're talking about fundamental misunderstandings that would be laughable if they weren't so damaging. Democrats think Republicans are more extreme than they are. Republicans think Democrats are more radical than reality. We're essentially arguing with caricatures we've created in our own minds.
When Symbols Become Weapons
Let's talk about that MAGA hat. In downtown Portland, it's seen as a provocation. At a church picnic in rural Arkansas, it's just Tuesday. Same hat, completely different meaning depending on context. But here's the problem - we've stopped caring about context. We see the symbol and immediately decide we know everything about that person's character, intelligence, and values. We've given a piece of fabric the power to define human worth.
The Algorithm Made Me Do It
Social media isn't just reflecting our divisions - it's creating them. Every click, every like, every angry reaction feeds an algorithm designed to keep you scrolling, not thinking. You're being served content that confirms what you already believe while being shielded from anything that might challenge it. The result? We're living in parallel universes, each convinced the other side has lost their minds.
Fear-Based Politics
There's something else happening here that nobody wants to admit: we're all scared. Scared of being cancelled, scared of being misunderstood, scared of being wrong. So we armor up before conversations even begin. We approach every political discussion like it's a battle to be won rather than a chance to understand. When did defending our position become more important than discovering truth?
Breaking the Cycle
Authors like Monica Guzman are onto something when they talk about "fiercely curious conversations." What if instead of assuming we knew someone's entire worldview based on one opinion, we got curious? What if we asked questions instead of making statements? What if we listened to understand rather than to respond?
The Cost of Being Right
Our addiction to being right is costing us relationships, communities, and any chance of solving actual problems. While we're busy arguing with strawmen versions of each other, real issues go unaddressed. Climate change doesn't care about your political party. Economic inequality affects everyone. But we're too busy fighting imaginary enemies to tackle real challenges.
The truth is uncomfortable: we're all more alike than different, but our assumptions are keeping us from seeing it. Until we're willing to question what we think we know about each other, we'll stay trapped in this cycle of division and misunderstanding.
RESOURCES MENTIONED:
Book - I Never Thought Of It That Way
Steve Bannon on Gavin Newsom Podcast
LINKS:
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[00:00:00] Nicole: so we've been getting a lot of, uh, comments on the YouTube and, I'm reading this book it's called, I never Thought of it that way. by this journalist named Monica Uzman and it's how to have fiercely curious conversations and dangerously divided times. I get the YouTube comments for the most part they have been so wildly positive. It's humbling and incredible and I feel so grateful that we get to do this thing together. And recently I have been seeing they're not negative towards us, which is, thank God, it can happen. not everyone's gonna like what you're doing, but there's a lot of anger and frustration and it's, I think it was both right and left, right and very left.
[00:00:59] Jolene: [00:01:00] Mm-hmm.
[00:01:00] Nicole: let me share this. After the 2018 midterms, a group of researchers took a snapshot of 2100 Republicans and Democrats, political views of all genders. Then ask them to estimate what proportion of folks from the other party with several political statements. So for a Republican taking the survey, one question read, what percentage of Democrats think that the US should have completely open borders to sum up the findings?
[00:01:31] When we look at the other side, we don't see a reality. see an exaggerated fiction that distorts people's actual beliefs. When the perception gap study was released in 2019, it found that. On average, Democrats are off by 19 percentage points when estimating Republicans views and Republicans are off 27 percentage points
[00:01:54] when estimating Democrats views. What does that mean exactly? Let's draw [00:02:00] this out. Using the immigration question where both sides were awful judges of each other's positions. The Republican surveyed thought that 38% of Democrats reject open borders when in reality 71% of Democrats do. that's a 33 percentage point gap. Democrats did know better, they thought just half of the Republicans believed that properly controlled immigration can be good for the country. When actually 85% of Republicans agreed with that statement, a 35 percentage point gap. We're also really, really bad at correcting stereotypes In a 2018 study that made my jaw hit the floor, thought that a third of Democrats were gay, lesbian, or bisexual, when just 6% are. And that four out of 10 Republicans earn more than $250,000 in a year when only 2% actually do.
[00:02:58] Jolene: Hmm.
[00:02:59] Nicole: this sounds [00:03:00] extreme, that's because it is, and so is the that follows it.
[00:03:05] Jolene: Wow.
[00:03:07] Nicole: I found it to be a huge aha for me.
[00:03:11] Jolene: Yes.
[00:03:12] Nicole: are not seeing each other
[00:03:16] Jolene: Mm-hmm.
[00:03:17] Nicole: to each other or hearing each other.
[00:03:19] Jolene: You know what else is so interesting is, and I can't remember if I saw it and sent it to you, or you saw it and sent it to me this week, there's this innate ability for people to, when they know what the source of the conversation is, or the comment is to immediately look at it through the lens of what that opposite source is, if they disagree with it.
[00:03:47] So, for instance, you know, if, if I'm a Republican and I see M-S-N-B-C. Um, come up with something, I'm immediately looking at it through the lens of, [00:04:00] this is gonna be wrong, number one, and how do I defend it? And, and I'm sure the opposite is true as well. So what, what we're doing is we're almost like putting our guard up immediately, like with, with our armor.
[00:04:15] Like ready to, to fight instead of if you didn't know the source and you are just having a conversation with a friend and you don't think that there is, a bias there, or if you don't, if you think it's just a, a innocuous conversation that you are able to look at that and, and really disseminate the information. it's amazing that we have already geared ourselves up for a debate before something even comes outta somebody else's mouth.
[00:04:47] Nicole: So on that note, Jolene, ' Gavin Newsom has this new podcast and been listening to all of the episodes. There are four so far. Charlie Kirk, Michael Savage, [00:05:00] Steve Bannon and Tim Waltz
[00:05:03] Jolene: Oh wow.
[00:05:05] Nicole: the liberals are free king out. They're mad. already got like a 2.8 rating on Apple podcast, which is kind of the worst you can do. and then on Tangle on Friday did just a podcast, an 11 minute podcast actually defending Gavin by saying, you know, I've listened to a couple and they're actually pretty great and he's trying to listen. And the liberals are freaking out.
[00:05:35] Like, why are you giving any of these people a platform? And blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Well, one of my suggestions today was to actually start listening to this podcast. I listened to this Steve Bannon one yesterday,
[00:05:50] Jolene: Oh.
[00:05:51] Nicole: and it was an exercise for me of like, I'm gonna pretend I don't know who this guy is.
[00:05:58] Jolene: Oh
[00:05:59] Nicole: And there were [00:06:00] certain things that I was like, well, first of all, he was so smart and there were things that disagreed with him. And then there were things that I completely agreed with.
[00:06:11] Jolene: wow.
[00:06:12] Nicole: Now I know he was playing nice, but so they're both playing nice. And that's what Gavin's getting shit for.
[00:06:18] Jolene: And what's wrong with that? Right.
[00:06:22] Nicole: like, you know what? We have to talk to each other.
[00:06:25] Jolene: I
[00:06:25] I think Trump has done this to us. You know, Trump has made us so defensive, has made Republicans defensive and Democrats offensive because it's just, I mean, it's, there's just so much battling and
[00:06:42] Nicole: book they call it othering, which I think is really interesting. I'm gonna say it's not just Trump, but social media has too like our algorithms. So
[00:06:50] it's this us and them, and they also call it siloing. So that you're just like, just communing with all only your people,
[00:06:58] Jolene: Mm-hmm.
[00:06:59] Nicole: then that other [00:07:00] side becomes huge and you can't possibly talk to them, or they would never understand me.
[00:07:07] you know, if we're talking about regimes, starts to your world. I don't care if you're Democrat or Republican, I'm not. Let's just go here together, it starts to get really, really small these are the things that you've chosen, but we're just feeding it to you.
[00:07:24] And that's, that's what you get. Like there's no more creativity in that. There's no room to grow, there's no room to
[00:07:31] Jolene: Explore another idea. Be open to somebody else's idea or thought or,
[00:07:38] Nicole: just to give backstory on this book, uh, Monica Guzman, she has a TED Talk and she is a, she's based in Seattle liberal journalist. And she is the daughter of Mexican immigrants who voted for Trump twice.
[00:07:53] Jolene: Mm.
[00:07:54] Nicole: And she loves her parents she with them [00:08:00] on, she wanted to be with them on election night. And she, this has become her life's work. it's sort of explaining like, what's going on in society, which makes things, less charged as a, you know, I'm like, oh, that's, and as, as we've talked about while when we started this thing, starting to realize, oh my gosh, what, what have I believed?
[00:08:25] Jolene: Yeah.
[00:08:25] Nicole: Like when I've read this article or seen this pundit and gotten all, and now it's, I'm like taking it in in a different way.
[00:08:35] Jolene: Well, I mean, I, I think this happened to you and I this week when we were talking about, another topic. You know, what should we do the next, the next podcast on? And you came up with something and I said, uh, I don't know how I'm gonna defend that. And you pointed and you pointed out to me, you go, wait, why do you think you need to, to defend it?
[00:08:55] And I went, oh, wait. No. That's not what we're doing here. [00:09:00] My initial inclination was, I need to def, I need to read more about what that is so that I can defend it. And instead of, instead of, okay, no, really truly, what do you believe?
[00:09:11] Nicole: Yeah. I was so fascinating when you said that too. 'cause not felt that way in any of these podcasts. Like, I'm on this side and you're on that side.
[00:09:21] Jolene: Right?
[00:09:22] Nicole: made sense. I mean, I'm, I'm glad it happened. Those happy accidents. 'cause then you can
[00:09:27] Jolene: Yeah.
[00:09:27] Nicole: and go, oh wait,
[00:09:29] that was my reaction in that moment that I, I'm supposed to defend these people
[00:09:34] Jolene: Right.
[00:09:34] Nicole: 'cause we're all complicated.
[00:09:36] Terms of the YouTube comments, in terms of posts, that the most action a post gets if there's 2, 1, 1 of two words, the word liberal or the word Biden. And it's like a 62% rate or like in, in activity. And I found it [00:10:00] wild because. last episode that dropped, which is gonna be weeks by the time this airs, it'll be weeks ago, was what is a conservative and what is a liberal? And tho and that video on YouTube has gotten more just
[00:10:20] Jolene: Comments, reactions? Yeah.
[00:10:22] Nicole: necessarily happy ones.
[00:10:24] Jolene: Yeah.
[00:10:24] Nicole: Just like, you know, and it's like, wow, like we haven't done anything different. We're still trying to have this conversation. But that word was in the title and I just, I was curious, like, I wonder if that had something to do with it or it made someone go, I'm gonna watch this.
[00:10:41] Jolene: Yeah.
[00:10:42] Nicole: saying, and like with your own lens, you're not watching it to say, oh, I'm curious. It's, I'm gonna prove like you show, you tell me, and I'm gonna tell you the opposite or whatever.
[00:10:55] Jolene: Right. Okay. That is so interesting. and [00:11:00] it is funny reading some of those comments. It, it wasn't that, oh, you said this and I disagree. It was them expressing themselves in how, um, really not even about some of the things that we talked about, but just express like they felt like they had an opportunity to say.
[00:11:17] And here's what I think,
[00:11:18] Nicole: Mm-hmm.
[00:11:19] Jolene: which I appreciate. I, I appreciate.
[00:11:21] Nicole: appreciate it.
[00:11:23] Jolene: Yep.
[00:11:23] Nicole: like there was definitely some venting, sometimes there were some good points. Sometimes I just felt like, oh, this person just really needs to express what they're feeling.
[00:11:33] Jolene: Do you think That somebody is, is stirring the pot. If they wear a MAGA hat,
[00:11:40] Nicole: I
[00:11:40] think it depends on where they're wearing it.
[00:11:44] Jolene: They're walking down the street. They're on the subway. Yeah. Yeah. Let's just say, yeah.
[00:11:49] Nicole: it feels antagonistic here? Does it feel antagonistic in Arkansas at a church picnic? [00:12:00] I would think not.
[00:12:02] Jolene: Right.
[00:12:03] Nicole: I would think that there would be just like pride maybe, but I think really think it depends, that's the same for liberals. like any sort of political buttons or whatever. I think it really depends on where you're wearing it.
[00:12:22] If, if it's something to instigate the other, what do you think?
[00:12:25] Jolene: it's interesting because I don't see a MAGA hat being offensive, like it's Make America Great again. That was Trump's. Tagline, and that was his logo and so I think that's different from, if you wore a hat that says Trump sucks because you're wanting to, to garner some reaction to that.
[00:12:51] Nicole: I understand that for some people it is team Trump,
[00:12:57] Jolene: Yeah. Right.
[00:12:59] Nicole: [00:13:00] Yankees. But
[00:13:01] Jolene: Is that the same thing as wearing a Yankee hat if you're in Boston?
[00:13:05] Nicole: depends on where you are. I mean, why do we wear anything that has names and it's a way to self-identify or to other ourselves
[00:13:16] Jolene: Mm-hmm.
[00:13:17] Nicole: like, this is part of my clan and I want you to know that I'm in this clan,
[00:13:21] Jolene: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
[00:13:22] Nicole: which I just think is really tricky in New York City.
[00:13:27] If we believe in a country where we have free speech, I think in the past, let's say even 10 years ago, maybe 15 years ago, you wouldn't have so much animosity.
[00:13:43] So if I take this, the, the, the MAGA hat, take it to the macro level and I didn't have any preconceived notions, and I said, oh, that guy's wearing a MAGA hat and end of story. he likes Trump.
[00:13:59] Jolene: [00:14:00] Mm-hmm.
[00:14:00] Nicole: Instead of, I seize up, get nervous, I make all these assumptions. He hates me. He hates women, he hates black people. He hates gays. He like, whatever. Like I've all the list that has, we've, I'm just giving that pow that hat a lot of power
[00:14:22] Jolene: Yeah.
[00:14:23] Nicole: and I'm not, not actually not asking that person. And I might be afraid to ask that person because of all these decisions that I've made about this person.
[00:14:34] Jolene: Yeah.
[00:14:34] Nicole: if I'm on a subway, I'll be honest, and there's a group of people with MAGA hats on, I get a little nervous instead of being curious and saying, Hey, what are you guys doing here?
[00:14:46] Jolene: Mm-hmm.
[00:14:47] Nicole: Like, 'cause to be fair, they're usually not living in Manhattan. That's a pretty good guess. But maybe they're I just made another assumption,
[00:14:56] Jolene: okay, but if they didn't have MAGA hats on, would you still [00:15:00] be inclined to say, Hey, what are you guys doing here?
[00:15:02] Nicole: I mean, when you're on a subway, you always can tell who the, who's, the out of towners.
[00:15:07] Jolene: Yeah.
[00:15:08] Nicole: always so much cleaner than us. Like they're just bright and shiny. They're bright and shiny, and they're sweet and they look a little bit lost, a little bit lost and a little bit excited.
[00:15:18] Jolene: They're not angry.
[00:15:20] Nicole: new Yorkers love helping. We love helping. I, for those of you that have never been here, we get a, we love helping. And so when you see a lost tourist, you're just like, how can I help you? And they're like, what? You know, and they're a little bit, but, um, I would absolutely be more inclined to talk to them if they didn't have the MAGA wear on.
[00:15:46] 'cause I'd be scared that they were going to pick a fight with me, which is where we are in the society. I.
[00:15:53] Jolene: So is this why, um, you know, Congress has, is at its all time lowest [00:16:00] approval rate? Um, Democrat, I mean, just as, as a body, not Democrat, Republican. is this why that we can't get anything done? because both sides are digging their, digging their heels in
[00:16:15] Nicole: again, I've barely read this book, but there was another thing that was really cool that I was gonna share with you. I think this is fascinating. Now, I know you love your newt.
[00:16:27] Jolene: Oh, I, I do love Newt Gingrich.
[00:16:29] Nicole: now,
[00:16:30] Jolene: Are you gonna tell me something bad?
[00:16:32] Nicole: this is something that I think you'll find interesting.
[00:16:35] Jolene: Okay. All right.
[00:16:37] Nicole: In 1995, Gingrich changed the way Congress ran itself. So work with me here.
[00:16:46] Jolene: Okay.
[00:16:47] Nicole: And this is part of what I think is the problem in terms of why Congress isn't working and, and one of the many things why we're so divisive at this point is that he changed it. It used to be [00:17:00] that Congress would work the fam, everybody would move to DC and Congress would work Monday through Friday. And all of the families of all the senators and Congress people, they'd go to school together, they'd go to the gym together. husbands that were not the, everybody together. you had a lot of cross or bipartisan friendship, a lot
[00:17:29] Jolene: Mm-hmm.
[00:17:30] Nicole: that you might fight about fiscal, you know, uh, spending on this or blah, blah, blah. But then they went and had dinner together,
[00:17:40] Jolene: Mm-hmm.
[00:17:41] Nicole: this wife and this wife were great friends,
[00:17:45] Jolene: Okay.
[00:17:46] Nicole: Which kept it human. And in 1995, Newt Gingrich changed it so that, the Congress now comes in three days a week for incredibly full days. The everybody [00:18:00] commutes, the, the reason being according to this book was because they were concerned that they were getting out of touch with their constituents, and that
[00:18:10] Jolene: Yeah,
[00:18:11] Nicole: run against them and out seat them because they knew what was going on in their
[00:18:17] Jolene: they were back home and talking with everybody. Yep.
[00:18:20] Nicole: to me is like, are you serving the people or are you serving yourself? So now they're in this situation that they all fly in and pack. Like it's not about any sort of lifestyle. They're going, you know, morning till night packing in as much as they can, and then they go home.
[00:18:38] Jolene: Mm-hmm.
[00:18:39] Nicole: So is from 95 to now, what is that?
[00:18:45] 30 years? years,
[00:18:47] Jolene: Yeah.
[00:18:47] Nicole: Congress has changed and there are very, so much less room and there are friendships
[00:18:54] Jolene: Hmm.
[00:18:56] Nicole: because
[00:18:57] Jolene: That is interesting.
[00:18:58] Nicole: you know, you [00:19:00] might fight about somebody, about a bill and then you are taking a steam with them,
[00:19:04] Jolene: No, that's, I mean, and that's true in business, right? It's, it's,
[00:19:09] Nicole: together.
[00:19:10] Jolene: yep. In business, it's not about the business that happens during the day. It's, it's what happens in a trade show. You go out and you, and you hang out with somebody at a bar and, or you go play top golf or, you know, whatever. That's when the, the connection happens and people are like, oh, you know what?
[00:19:28] Yeah, maybe I, maybe I do wanna buy your product 'cause I like you as a person.
[00:19:32] Nicole: right. Or if it's a bill, well, you know what, let me take another look at it and see how we can
[00:19:38] Jolene: Yep. right? So his intent was not to have to move families. And, and so I understand like that, how, what the repercussions are of that, and that is so interesting.
[00:19:50] Nicole: just another way, you know, take it 30 years in that we have othered each other.
[00:19:56] Jolene: I just, I read an article, I, and I don't know, I, [00:20:00] maybe it was even CNN this week, how, um, people are afraid, Republicans are afraid to rock the boat because if they get retaliated against, you know, what? That, that they'll get primaried and, and.
[00:20:15] Nicole: that's the thing, and that's where we are, right Jolene, is that you're not finding that are really just wanting to lead. And if they lose, they did. They did their best for our country.
[00:20:27] Jolene: Yeah.
[00:20:28] Nicole: And I, I guess that's completely idealistic. It's what I want for our country if I'm gonna be proud. And a, and a patriotic person that would be so cool that you like, did your best and didn't worry if it was unpopular, if it was
[00:20:47] Jolene: Yeah.
[00:20:47] Nicole: your, if you felt it was the right thing to do.
[00:20:49] Jolene: Yeah.
[00:20:50] Nicole: are just so afraid. They're afraid to stand up to, am sure that there are republicans right now that are not happy with what's going on [00:21:00] with, whether it's, Musk's overreach or all the, you know, things are going on with law firms, as I told you about, and trying to impeach judges. I mean, there's gotta be people in on, on the Republican party that like to say something and are terrified.
[00:21:18] 'cause then they'll lose their job. And same with the Democrats.
[00:21:22] Jolene: I think part of that is if you, if you're coming, let's say you're Joni Ernst from Iowa, and your job is to make sure that Iowa gets, that you get what Iowa needs. And that is, you could look at, you know, the, the bigger picture
[00:21:39] But for the most part, your job is to get what you are, you know, the, for the constituents, for the people in the state that you represent. And so, if, if I'm Joni, Ernst, the things that I really wanna get done are A, B, and C. And I've had to make a deal with, because this, this is the stuff with Congress.
[00:21:58] I mean, it's all deal [00:22:00] making behind closed doors. And if you vote for my bill, I'll vote for yours. And so if she wants to introduce a bill for this subject. And she's gotta make sure though, that she's got people on board. And so it's such a, it's such a popularity game and it's a, it's a give and take and not in a good way, but in a, you know, what are you gonna do for me?
[00:22:22] And that's where the system is so screwed up, that you could have the best intentions and you could be, uh, you know, driven by your morals to, I'm gonna go to Washington, DC and, and change the world. And then once you get there and you learn, eh, well the lobbyists are, you know, have, have this, and
[00:22:43] Nicole: Like you're, they're
[00:22:44] Jolene: it's all about money, right?
[00:22:46] So if these are the people that are, that will say, you know what? I got a million dollars towards your reelection campaign 'cause you're a pre reelection next year.
[00:22:55] I got a million dollars if you will vote for this bill. And you're like, [00:23:00] okay, because I can't get my stuff done unless I have this money and I can run for reelection. And I mean, it's, it's a screwed up system.
[00:23:08] Nicole: So what do you think we should do?
[00:23:12] Jolene: We've gotta continue to talk. the whole, , The whole lobbyist industry I just think is. Screwing things up because if you weren't, and if you weren't so gung-ho about running for re reelection, that maybe you could get some more work done too.
[00:23:31] So does that mean term limits maybe.
[00:23:34] Nicole: and that's, yeah, because you always find that when the politician decides that they're gonna retire, all of a sudden they become way more ethical. Like whatever side they're on, they're actually voting their conscience instead of trying to save their job. I think the thing that's tricky with the term limits is sometimes that hard to get a lot done in [00:24:00] a short period of time, and.
[00:24:01] Uh, and so you want it long enough that you could get some real work done, but short enough that you don't get beholden or complacent. , The other thing that's tricky, and obviously it's not gonna change, if a Congress person has two years and they're so obsessed with, um, fundraising, like as soon as they get in, they have to worry about their next election,
[00:24:22] Jolene: Right?
[00:24:23] Nicole: how it seems to work.
[00:24:26] Jolene: So do you make, do you make their terms four year.
[00:24:29] Nicole: Jolene, I would say get to have four terms as a congress person, so eight years total. And as a senator that you get
[00:24:42] Jolene: Two,
[00:24:44] Nicole: two,
[00:24:45] Jolene: 12 years.
[00:24:47] Nicole: because that you can, you could really create some change, but then, then you pass the baton. I am just constantly thinking about like, they're all like little kids on a playground. Just [00:25:00] like, no, you do it. No, you do it just so it's gotta be exhausting.
[00:25:07] Jolene: Okay. Well I think this was a good discussion.
[00:25:10] Nicole: Do you?
[00:25:10] Jolene: Yeah. Because I think we, I think we were able to talk about some things that are, that are getting to the root. I mean, isn't that the point of us talking is that we're trying to really get to the root of what we're feeling, why we're feeling it, you know, the outside influence of the.
[00:25:30] Social media and, and, um, the news and who's paying for the ads on the news, and
[00:25:38] Nicole: Right.
[00:25:41] Jolene: it's,
[00:25:42] Nicole: of your conspiracy theorists, I mean, 'cause you like a good conspiracy,
[00:25:46] Jolene: a good conspiracy,
[00:25:47] Nicole: part of me thinks to feed this to you that, you know, I. Where they talked about how Russia got involved in the 2016 election, [00:26:00] and if we're dealing with social media and all the propaganda, and dividing us, dividing us, dividing us, dividing us, they're in heaven.
[00:26:10] Jolene: I completely agree.
[00:26:12] Nicole: I'm like, oh. Like they have America exactly where they want it
[00:26:18] Jolene: oh, absolutely. Absolutely that there was so much talk about, you know, again, the Russian, could be Chinese infiltration of our social media. If you look at the, the bots again, of people, my, I've got somebody who is extremely right wing and I look at his social media yes.
[00:26:42] In my life, and I look at his social media and some of the people that comment and he'll say really sometimes ridiculous stuff. But I look at some of the comments then, and you'll see someone with an outrageous comment that is contrary to what [00:27:00] his was. And if you click on that person and they've got some really random photos as their profile and they, you know, it's not a real person, you can, you can go, okay, this is.
[00:27:11] This is exactly what Russia is trying to do, is they're trying to instigate. They love that we are all fighting with each other,
[00:27:21] Nicole: That's right. 'cause we're, we get, we are both so distracted with each other. That shit can go down and we don't even know it.
[00:27:32] Jolene: so we need a good wag the dog. What's it gonna be?
[00:27:38] Nicole: and, and getting along and figuring shit out together.
[00:27:41] Jolene: Okay. Well there's that too.
[00:27:43] Nicole: that. Um, do you have a, would you rather,
[00:27:46] Jolene: I do,
[00:27:47] Nicole: okay,
[00:27:48] Jolene: do you?
[00:27:49] Nicole: I do.
[00:27:51] Jolene: Okay, go ahead. Yeah, I love it.
[00:27:55] Nicole: Would you rather be blamed for something you didn't do [00:28:00] or given credit for something you didn't do?
[00:28:05] Jolene: Oh yeah. Blamed for something I didn't, that I didn't do.
[00:28:10] Nicole: know it's hard.
[00:28:16] Jolene: Yeah. 'cause,
[00:28:17] Nicole: are like, I would like to get credit for something I didn't do. Yes,
[00:28:22] Jolene: I am a politician and that's what I do.
[00:28:25] Nicole: And that's what I do.
[00:28:27] Jolene: I will say I can, I give credit to my husband. I, um, I commented on this and I've, I've pointed it out to our girls too, that whenever he did an interview, like after a game or something, or if he had to speak to a group of boosters or whatever, He would always give, like, they were like, ah, the running backs had a great game.
[00:28:50] And he would always say, um, you know what, it was the O line that really helped us and blah, blah, blah. He always did. Or, you know, he would give credit to his graduate assistants for doing [00:29:00] the research or, you know, whatever. He always did a really good job of giving someone else the credit when he got a compliment.
[00:29:06] And that was such a cool quality. And I don't, it wasn't anything that we've ever discussed, I don't think, I mean, until I realized he was doing it and I'm like, wait, do you know you're doing that? Um, but that's such a cool quality of someone is great. Someone's telling you something nice, but give somebody else a credit.
[00:29:24] 'cause most likely you didn't do that by yourself. You know? I mean, there was,
[00:29:27] Nicole: do things. You need a, it's teamwork. Right.
[00:29:30] Jolene: yeah.
[00:29:31] Nicole: That's
[00:29:32] Jolene: Yeah. Totally.
[00:29:33] Nicole: doesn't surprise me
[00:29:34] Jolene: Would you rather. Have an unlimited clothing budget for the rest of your life, or an unlimited food budget for the rest of your life. So you could buy any clothing, ever, any piece of jewelry, any purse, shoes, bag or
[00:29:56] Nicole: then it has to come to me. I can't just take the money and do [00:30:00] something good.
[00:30:00] Jolene: Nope, nope, nope. Or unlimited. Unlimited food budget. So like that really good Thai food that you had in Thailand, it would, they could Uber eats it to you like overnight. I mean, like you get to.
[00:30:16] Nicole: right there. Fly that pad. Tie. Oh gosh.
[00:30:25] Jolene: I mean, the best caviar. The finest champagne.
[00:30:29] Nicole: I guess food because unfortunately, and we're gonna talk about this on another episode, that a lot of times the most expensive food is the best food for you. I.
[00:30:38] Jolene: Mm,
[00:30:41] Nicole: Organic and grass
[00:30:43] Jolene: mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
[00:30:44] Nicole: we have so many food deserts in this country and so much, so much hungry in this country. So I guess that would be, and and you
[00:30:54] Jolene: Okay.
[00:30:54] Nicole: I paused because I love clothes.
[00:30:58] Jolene: No, see it. [00:31:00] That's why, but you, you really like great food too.
[00:31:03] Nicole: I love, but I don't have a lot of things that I am very,
[00:31:10] Jolene: You are very quality.
[00:31:12] Nicole: I don't like a lot of, I don't, I think it's living in New York forever. You just have room and yeah, I like, I like pretty things.
[00:31:21] Jolene: I think you're, I mean, you're very quality over quantity
[00:31:25] Nicole: Well, yes, I mean,
[00:31:28] Jolene: in your dress.
[00:31:29] Nicole: to do that and, and that was such a great thing in theory, but you can't always afford quality.
[00:31:33] Jolene: Yeah.
[00:31:34] Nicole: That was a, that was very materialistically. A hard one, but I think food because of the quality of the food,
[00:31:41] Jolene: Yeah. Okay. That's a good one.
[00:31:43] Nicole: you know, another episode about like how gross our food is in America.
[00:31:49] Jolene: Um, I can't wait to do that episode because I just read something on LinkedIn. That is, I, I think is, is life changing.
[00:31:57] Nicole: Really?
[00:31:59] Jolene: So I'm just [00:32:00] gonna tease it.
[00:32:00] Nicole: Okay. I'll see you next time.
[00:32:03] Jolene: Bye-Bye.
