We Got DESTROYED on TikTok- The Social Media Backlash Nobody Warned Us About
Two friends. One TikTok account. Complete chaos.
What started as an innocent attempt to share our conversations quickly turned into a masterclass in online brutality. From weird yelling videos in the DMs to comment sections that looked like digital war zones, we learned the hard way that TikTok doesn't play nice with nuanced political discussions.
This episode shares some of the behind the scenes issues we’ve been dealing with on social media since launching our show. We're talking about the algorithm that rewards outrage, the trolls who live for destruction, and the mental health cost of putting yourself out there. Plus, the settings we changed to survive and the lessons we learned about navigating social media without losing your sanity.
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[00:00:00] Nicole: so as you know, we started our TikTok account on Friday
[00:00:07] Jolene: yes.
[00:00:08] Nicole: Social media, it's, I'm, I'm learning about it.
[00:00:11] I've kind of avoided it my whole life and career and liked a little Instagram, but that's kind of about it. And then we start the show and it's like, okay, we've gotta do these things. And have been avoiding the TikTok.
[00:00:27] It was a little bit rough, I have to say. we have been getting, you know, a lot of positive feedback and when we've gotten feedback with like, on YouTube comments and Facebook and Instagram and, and when people have, had other thoughts, they've been incredibly thoughtful. They've been, really impassioned, but, you know, just respectful.
[00:00:57] And when I would write back, they would be [00:01:00] respectful. This is, these are hard conversations that we're having as, we know, and every day it seems to be. Getting harder in this country. and people have a lot of reactions, whether you're on the right or the left or in the middle, or you want out, you don't wanna be any of it.
[00:01:18] I didn't know what I was doing. I was immediately schooled where, I put her a little snippet, it's a snippet of a very long episode, but that doesn't seem to register on the TikTok because everyone is ready to yell and scream about the snippet.
[00:01:38] Then I'm just trying to promote our podcast and hope that you would like to come on the ride with us. so much hate, so much hate, so much anger. So much hate that I was so freaked out by the first video. I was like, I turned the comments off and you were like, oh, no, no, no.
[00:01:54] My girls say you gotta keep the comments on. I'm like, okay. So I turned the comments back on and then [00:02:00] I posted more videos and it was a little like, people are are wanting to chat. Okay, fine. And then this one lady, lady was like, I was really excited about this and I was gonna subscribe, but you turned your comments off, so that's a red flag.
[00:02:14] And I'm like, oh, okay. So I, I write her or write on the comments and I'm like, we're brand new at this and I don't know what I'm doing, so bear with me. I'm turning the comments back on. She's like, great. Well, I. Pretty soon after I got a like, like a, in the inbox from the TikTok admin saying, here are ways to deal with your settings for bullying.
[00:02:40] Because it was so intense. And thankfully they, I mean they were, there was a lot of rage about our privilege. Okay, yes, we are privileged. Yes, but not so much about like, you're horrible Nicole. You're horrible Jolene. It was just real [00:03:00] anger and frustration, which I absolutely understand, but every time I tried to have a genuine like response, they were ready, like with a hatchet to like just.
[00:03:11] Knock me down. They didn't know which one of us is, but they were just real pissed. Real pissed. So much so that there was, I don't think I told you this, there was this one. So there's a feature on TikTok again where I guess No, I know 'cause I experienced it, that you can reply or you can make a comment via video.
[00:03:34] So this one i, I clicked on 'cause it was like this person has written you. So I click on it and it's a woman, a woman, a white woman in her car. Screaming at me.
[00:03:49] Jolene: Oh, no.
[00:03:51] Nicole: Well, me, you, both of us. I wasn't like, I'm the liberal. I'm like, I'm like, and she's just like, oh, [00:04:00] you wanna make it about humanity? I mean, she literally like did that.
[00:04:04] Oh. And I'm thinking to myself, it, first of all, it scared the shit outta me. 'cause it was just so startling. I was like, oh my god. People are so ang. And of course I know everyone's angry, but it was like, you are taking time out of your day. Hopefully you pulled over. Hopefully you were not driving when you were doing this video to yell at, said stranger because you didn't like the 32nd snippet that we posted to get you to listen to our podcast.
[00:04:37] Jolene: Ah.
[00:04:39] Nicole: Sunday, I was really burned out. I was like, how? It was bigger because for me it was like, wait a second. Millions of people watch TikTok and I'm a pretty emotionally mature human in the world. Like, what about the kids? [00:05:00] They're on this like, It was like a bigger question, like
[00:05:03] Jolene: yeah.
[00:05:04] Nicole: what are we doing here?
[00:05:06] Like, not maybe you and me, but just how do we heal this? This is a mess.
[00:05:11] Jolene: Wow. We are,
[00:05:14] Nicole: Uh,
[00:05:15] Jolene: if we're not having a drink after this,
[00:05:17] Nicole: Woo. We're keeping it real over
[00:05:19] Jolene: Okay. But here's the thing with TikTok, number one, they're only watching the snippets. So you're right. They're getting a sound bite. And the whole, I think, premise behind TikTok is the comments.
[00:05:30] when people engage with your post, then that's what's going to feed the algorithm.
[00:05:39] So the people that probably saw these snippets are people that generally look at political things and engage with it. So you are getting the angry politically interested people to continue to spew whatever it is that they spew. And it's just, it's feeding that [00:06:00] beast because that's what TikTok does,
[00:06:02] Nicole: Well, interestingly, ' like Sunday morning I was, I was so filled with ick, ick about like humanity. Like it was, I went big.
[00:06:13] Jolene: you went to church,
[00:06:14] Nicole: I didn't go to church. I went to Google ALM Church and Google right here.
[00:06:22] Jolene: the Google God.
[00:06:23] Nicole: Google God. And I was like, you know what, Nicole, I'm taking control of this situation. And I Googled.
[00:06:28] I was like, how do you deal with bullying on TikTok? And there was this lovely woman, curly girl, 25 I think is her handle. I don't really know. Lovely, lovely. And she's talking about the same, she got the same admin, bullying thing and like showed on the, on the post, like how to deal with it. And I was like, oh, I feel so much better.
[00:06:55] Okay. Okay. And then I went into the settings and there [00:07:00] there are words that you can put in to block and it wasn't even like I did that much, but it calmed down.
[00:07:06] Jolene: really?
[00:07:07] Nicole: Yeah. like there were interesting comments after that Patriot Day, the September 11th video where people were just, uh, sharing what they were doing that day or how it felt. And I thought, oh, that's interesting. People are just needing to talk.
[00:07:27] Jolene: So I wonder if, if though it's not getting to, if it's not feeding that for you, page is not feeding into people who are interested in having good dialogue or conversations.
[00:07:40] Nicole: Well, it seems like it is now and, and quite frankly, like I get off of it so quickly because I,
[00:07:48] Jolene: it's icky.
[00:07:49] Nicole: we're getting some followers and people are, you know, so that's good. You
[00:07:53] Jolene: Please follow and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.
[00:07:57] Nicole: we're on the YouTube. We're on [00:08:00] Spotify. We're on the Apple,
[00:08:02] Jolene: The,
[00:08:03] Nicole: on TikTok for 30 seconds, so then you can yell at us longer, I guess.
[00:08:09] Jolene: And we have a webpage.
[00:08:10] Nicole: Yes,
[00:08:11] Jolene: It's so cute. It really is
[00:08:13] Nicole: about it. Thank you, Alex and Brianna. It's really great.
[00:08:17] Jolene: Bambi Media.
[00:08:18] Nicole: Media. You guys are the best.
